he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
