so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Holy sore nipples Batman
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize