i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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