I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
