Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
