True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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