This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize