I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
my being single is dangerous.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
