i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
