you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize