My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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