Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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