there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
