He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
