He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
oh god the rape fog is back!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Randomize
