I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
It was confusing and full of hummus
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
