The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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