So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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