Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
