Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize