I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
