Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
