But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
