Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
