i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize