yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Randomize
