Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Randomize
