Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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