What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
