She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize