In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize