he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
