his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
