its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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