Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize