remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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