Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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