Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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