I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
