Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
