you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
