You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize