I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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