This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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