Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize