He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
