Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize