you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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