I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
