Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
