Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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