Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
