I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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