God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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