No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
