My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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