I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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