This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
